My Girl Abbey

My Girl Abbey
Mother's Day 2015

Sunday, February 17, 2013

My reaction to her

So, it's been a rough couple of weeks for miss Abbey.  What started out as just a fever for four days, eventually turned into pneumonia, which then landed us in the ER with her covered in hives and cartoon-sized lips.

 When I took her to her pediatrician last Tuesday, I was not expecting the diagnosis of pneumonia.  In my mind, this has been hiding under a rock labeled "One of Kimberly's Biggest Fears."  I looked at our doctor and said, "I want you to know I'll be fine, but I'm probably going to freak out here for a minute or two....sorry for crying." haha  Lucky for me, I saw the female in the practice because she took it like a champ and handed me a box of tissues and laughed with me.  The men in this office would not have been as....compassionate.

When she woke up on Friday morning with giant plastic looking lips, I thought, okay now this is more than I can handle!  We took her down to the hospital, and were thrilled with not only the speed of care, but the patience and kindness of the staff as they got a chest x-ray.  We added and changed meds, and then went straight to the allergist.  This is not the first time that this has happened to Abbey, and I was relieve to find out that it is not uncommon for fair skinned (particularly with blond hair and blue eyes) people to have this kind of reaction to a virus.  Apparently, the virus can damage the histamine cells. The damaged cells release the histamines out to the skin and you see the hives.  My fears were completely put to rest when he explained that this is not the same kind of reaction as a food allergy or drug allergy where you would be concerned about her airway.  This is strictly a skin-response.   He graciously said, "Next time this happens don't go to the ER...we'll talk you through it and she'll be just fine. You have our cell numbers and we'll answer any day or night." ahhhhhhhh, such a sweet consolation!  How wonderful to know that he is just a few push buttons away if I need him, and that I don't need to freak out if she's sick and wakes up covered in hives.

I would LOVE to tell you, that when someone in my house is sick (particularly Abbey) that I have a faith-filled response.  That I'm the strong, secure woman I want to be. Reality could not be farther from the truth.  I will borrow a phrase from one of my best friends that could describe me, "She's a hot mess!" lol  Seriously, my poor husband and family.  The good news is, I eventually calm down and see things as they are.  I send my unshared fears away (hopefully for good, but sometimes they just go back under that rock I was telling you about), find my way back to appropriate and reasonable reactions, and start sleeping through the night again.

I have to tell you, I didn't know where this post was going when I first started typing....but I think it's no accident that I have been repeating Psalms 121:4 over and over in my mind at night. "indeed, he who watches over Israel will neither slumber nor sleep."  What a life changer it would be, if I could just get this truth to settle in my heart and not just in my mind! If I want a sweet consolation, here it is:  I don't need to loose sleep, he is THE GREAT PHYSICIAN and is on call every moment of everyday.  I don't have to wait in line, I don't have to pay to see him, I don't have to worry that he'll think I'm a neurotic mother, I don't have to hope he'll be able to figure out what's going on, and I certainly don't need to freak out!

Abbey's still sick.  She still has pneumonia, she still has hives, and we're waiting this thing out. We see the pediatrician on Monday morning for a check of her progress and lungs...hopefully, I will keep this in mind if things don't go the way I want them to.  Or, I may need you to remind me that my God is pretty big, that he can handle my hot mess, and that he doesn't sleep so that I can.

Lots of love to you friends! Thanks for all your prayers, meals, and messages.